My friends — dare I say, mateys — the day has come. Talk Like a Pirate Day. The revered holiday on which we talk like pirates. In celebration of this all-important holiday, I give you, a completely random and subjective list of pirate-themed awards, in no order at all!
Best Middle Grade/Children’s Pirate Book
The Pirates’ Mixed-Up Voyage by Margaret Mahy.
When Lionel Wafer declares himself “captain” and christens his boat The Sinful Sausage, he and his “crew,” a parrot and some sea-loving landlubbers, embark on a humorous voyage. This book is delightful.
Best Pirate Improv Comedy Skit
Whose Line Is It Anyway with special guest Whoopi Goldberg!
Best Doctor Who Pirate Episode
“The Pirate Planet” from the era of the Fourth Doctor! This episode treats the concept of “pirate” more metaphorically, with an entire planet that pillages other planets. There is a bit of quintessential “pirate” in the captain, though. He has a cybernetic “eyepatch” and a robotic parrot on his shoulder. This episode was written by Douglas Adams!
Sorry I couldn’t find a proper trailer. For a more literal treatment of “space pirates,” see “Enlightenment” from the Fifth Doctor, with old-timey pirate ships floating through space.
Best Star Trek Pirate Novel
Black Fire by Sonni Cooper.
This is the one where Spock becomes a space pirate! I’m not even kidding. Just read it, it’s my favorite. 😀
Best Historical Pirate Fact
The “pirate accent” is actually a (very strong version of an) accent from southwest England. Many pirates were supposed to have been from this area, but it’s thought to have been introduced to popular culture in 1950’s Treasure Island movie. I discovered this doing some Googling after watching some British movie and thinking “Why does that random guy have a pirate accent?”
Best Animated Pirate Movie
Tinker Bell and the Pirate Fairy. And, of course, shout out to the actual Peter Pan!
Best Pirate Graphic Novel
Pirate Penguin vs. Ninja Chicken: Troublems with Frenemies by Ray Friesen, from Top Shelf, the same company that publishes my beloved Owly comics. Also another wonderful example of a fictionalized group — ninjas.
Favorite picture of my cat photoshopped as a pirate
The Pirates Who Do The Least
The Only Live-Action Movie I’ve Actually Seen that Has Pirates in It
What are your Pirate Awards? 🙂